Yesterday, I got the keys to my new studio space.
I recorded today's episode sitting cross-legged on the bare floor of this empty room that represents so much more than just square footage. For the past two years, I've been living and working out of my parents' spare bedroom - a sanctuary that sheltered me through the storm of divorce and rebuilding. But this studio? This is different. This is choice over circumstance.
From Relief to Empowerment
When I first moved back home with my parents, I remember the overwhelming feeling of relief - finally being able to exhale after months of holding my breath. That space represented rest, recovery, and healing.
But sitting in my empty studio feels like energized relief. It's forward momentum. It's possibility.
The journey from victim to empowerment isn't linear, and I want to be clear: "victim" is not a dirty word. It's simply a state of being when something happens to you that's outside your control. But there does come a time when you begin to shift from focusing on what happened to you toward what you're creating.
The Healing Is Happening Now
I remember telling my mom early in my separation that I couldn't wait for the healing to start - as if it were some future event I was waiting to begin. She looked at me and said something that changed everything: "Don't you see? It is happening. Right now, this is it. This is the healing."
What a revelation to realize that healing isn't waiting to happen - it's actively unfolding in every moment, even the painful ones. The days when you feel like you're sinking, when you're just trying to keep your head above water? Those count. That is where the healing is happening.
And on the days when you're really close to giving up? Those count double in your healing journey.
Finding My "Thing"
Recently, I've had another revelation. For a while, I've been confused about my path forward. I talk about divorce online, but I'm not a divorce expert. I don't want to be a divorce coach. So what am I?
The answer was there all along: my superpower is finding glimmers. Finding light in unexpected places. It's who I've always been, long before my divorce. During my hardest times, finding glimmers became a survival mechanism. Now, it's an intentional practice I can share with others.
For so long, I didn't think this was "enough" to be my thing. But embracing this truth - that I help people find light in dark places - has been incredibly empowering.
Practical Steps in Rebuilding
Rebuilding happens through both dramatic leaps and tiny steps. Some days it's signing a lease on a studio, and other days it's just making your bed. Here are some areas where I've experienced rebuilding:
Physical spaces:
From selling my marital home to moving in with my parents
Finding new spaces in my town that were just mine (like the gym)
Reclaiming spaces that held difficult memories
Getting my own studio
Professional identity:
Starting with DoorDash when that's all I could emotionally handle
Moving through contract work
Eventually taking a chance on myself creatively
Embracing my expertise in finding joy
Financial steps:
Setting up my own phone plan for the first time
Getting my own insurance through the Marketplace
Creating budgets and spreadsheets
Taking financial literacy courses
Investing in myself (like the studio!)
Daily practices:
Finding glimmers intentionally
Consistent workouts to rebuild trust in myself
Small acts of self-care that build foundation
Making choices that align with who I'm becoming
Throughout it all, I've had to balance patience and action. Sometimes action is healing, and sometimes rest is healing. Only you can determine what's right for you at any given moment.
Journal Prompts
What natural gift or strength do you have that feels so effortless you might be overlooking its true value? How might this be your "thing"?
Think about a space (physical or emotional) where you feel most yourself. What elements of this space could you intentionally create or bring into other areas of your life?
Where in your life are you waiting to "start" something that you're actually already doing? How can you acknowledge the work you're already putting in?
Reflect on a recent choice you made that felt empowering rather than circumstantial. What was different about this decision and how did it make you feel?
What is one small step you could take this week that would align with the person you're becoming rather than the person you've been?
This Week's Glimmers
That sweet 80-degree sunshine that made me feel alive again after winter
My mom and I cracking up over my dog who had crossed his toe beans and didn't know how to uncross them
Bringing my dad Klondike ice cream bars after a DoorDash shift (his favorite!)
Sitting alone in my empty studio with just my journal, coffee, and laptop
Hearing the birds returning - their calls are everywhere and it feels like such a sign of renewal
I want to leave you with this invitation: Imagine yourself sitting in your own empty studio - a space that's just yours. What would that space represent for you? Possibility? Rest? A fresh start?
Whether you're just surviving right now or intentionally choosing joy, both have their place. You can hold both at the same time. The joy is enough. The light is enough. The glimmers are enough. They are what make life worth living.
Remember, the only way out is through, and you're doing it right now. You're in it. The healing is happening.
Until next time, keep seeking the sparkles. ✨
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