Hey friends!
If you caught this week's podcast episode, you already know I'm feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement as I shared my Week 19 update on the 52 Dates Project. For those who prefer reading over listening (or want to revisit the highlights), here's the written version of what I shared today.
The Project So Far
Remember why I started this project? After spending 2023 surviving and 2024 healing, I wanted 2025 to be about putting that healing into action. I needed a framework to get out there and see what my healing actually looks like in the real world.
The beauty of this project is its flexibility. A "date" can be:
A solo adventure
Trying a new class
A social gathering
A new experience
And yes, actual dates with other humans!
While not every experience has been positive, each one has served as a valuable tool for seeing my healing in action. Here are the biggest lessons I've learned so far:
1. Showing Up Authentically
My three favorite dates have been:
Joining the fantasy book club - Walking into a room of strangers who already knew each other? Terrifying. But once I got in there, I found my people and got to geek out about books, dragons, and magic.
My first post-divorce date - A huge growth moment that proved I could do something I never thought I'd have to do again.
Taking a self-defense class - Going solo to a class with 50 women I didn't know felt intimidating, but I left feeling empowered and strong.
The pattern I've noticed? The hardest part is always walking through the door. Whether it was sitting in my car before the singles mixer, hesitating outside the book club, or almost turning around before the self-defense class – that moment between "will I, won't I" is where the real battle happens.
And here's what I'm learning: that moment where I take the step forward is where I prove to myself, in real time, that I am capable. I can do this. The more I give myself tangible proof that I can trust myself to handle new situations, the easier it becomes to believe it.
2. It's All Data Collection
My most impactful dates (not necessarily the most enjoyable ones):
The singles mixer in DC - First time introducing myself post-divorce
Solo wine tasting - Where I had to navigate an uncomfortable situation with my gut on high alert
Spontaneous mom's night out - Reminded me I belong in spaces I might have convinced myself I shouldn't enter
The theme connecting these experiences? They're all data collection. Not pass/fail experiences, but information gathering about my boundaries, my preferences, and how I move through the world.
This mindset takes the pressure off. When you're just collecting data, there's no failure – only feedback. This approach has spilled over into other areas of my life too, like setting up book events. Every no is just information, not a reflection of my worth.
3. Community Building Through Courage
Some of my favorite community-building dates:
Goat Bingo with Emily (Bingoat! It's a hill I'll die on – everyone should experience this)
Art in Bloom in DC with my mom - Where we kept whispering "we don't belong here" but actually had an amazing time
Random girls night out with women I barely knew - Ended up dancing and making new friends
Post-divorce, my circle became intentionally small and safe, which was what I needed. But now I'm ready to expand – both in terms of who's in my circle and the spaces I move through.
I've realized that while some healing can happen in isolation, there's a limit to how much we can heal in a vacuum. The world isn't my small safe circle, and I don't want it to be.
What's been especially meaningful is hearing from listeners who've been inspired to start their own versions of the 52 Dates Project – going to dinner alone, joining classes, finding book clubs. We become community for others by encouraging them to find community.
4. Finding Joy in Unexpected Places
This project has helped me recognize and appreciate those little glimmers I'm always talking about – those tiny moments of joy, growth, and healing that I'm creating for myself.
Not all experiences have been winners. I probably won't do a movie alone on Valentine's Day again (surrounded by couples!) or a solo wine tasting. But even in those less-than-fantastic experiences, I grew. I was brave. I showed myself that I exist, I show up, and I deserve to take up space.
What's Coming Up
I've got some exciting dates planned:
Joining a writer's circle (despite my raging imposter syndrome – yes, even with a published book!)
Hosting a book event where I'll be a vendor
Taking line dancing classes
A Natural Evolution
And now for the update that made me nervous to share... I'm seeing someone. This is someone who has been in my life for the last two years, and we're trying out being more than friends. It's exciting!
As a chronic oversharer who lets you all see my highest highs and lowest lows, it feels like growth that I'm choosing to keep some of this special and private while giving it space to grow. For the first time in two years, I'm giving myself time to explore this before sharing more details online.
What I do want to say is that I'm really happy. Overriding any nervousness, anxiety, or insecurity – I am happy. Part of that is because of this person, but even more, it's because I'm letting myself be happy.
This feels like the next chapter of my healing journey – learning to trust my own experience without constantly offering it up for others to judge. (Not that you judge!)
Journal Prompts
Trust & Courage: Think about a moment in the past few months when you hesitated to walk through a door (literal or metaphorical), but did it anyway. What did you learn about yourself in that moment? How did the reality of the experience compare to what you feared beforehand?
Selective Vulnerability: In what areas of your life have you been sharing everything? And where might you benefit from keeping some things private as they develop? What about the opposite? Where can you benefit from opening up about things you're experiencing? How does it feel to consider protecting something precious while it grows rather than exposing it?
Finding Joy: What unexpected glimmers have appeared in your life recently that remind you of your capacity for happiness? How has your willingness to recognize and celebrate these small moments changed since your healing journey began?
My Five Glimmers This Week
Getting lost in book three of The Powerless Trilogy by Lauren Roberts (after accidentally starting with book three first – oops!)
Having my studio space set up just the way I want it, and bringing sandwiches to eat at my desk (something so normal that feels special)
Seeing a Fleetwood Mac cover band with my mom, with the singer dressed as Stevie Nicks
Driving with the windows down in warm Virginia weather while doing my DoorDash runs
My new blanket from The Fleece Company that lives in my studio with my studio slippers – perfect cozy work companion [EMMA15 gets you $15 off!]
You're doing a freaking great job. In case no one's told you lately, you are killing it. If it feels hard right now, it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's because it sucks. But you're doing it anyway. Look at you go.
The only way out is through. And it's gonna get better. I'm proud of you. I see you. I'm grateful you're here. Thanks for seeing me.
Until next time, keep seeking the sparkles.
Emma
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